Wounds
by WomanTwiceDead
Summary: The Badlands isn't a friendly place and their recent run-in with the Spirit Riders isn't the first time Nolan or Irisa has been hurt. A series of one shots about some of the other times.
1. Biting

Disclaimer: _Defiance_ does not belong to me.

Biting

Nolan wasn't sure about this whole thing. He had liberated the girl from a pretty dire situation, done what she couldn't, _saved her_, and he was _pretty sure _that she was appreciative, but then again maybe he was completely wrong. He'd honestly expected her to run off by now, but no, she was still following him around, so he assumed she _wanted_ to be there. But really, it was hard to tell with her considering she wasn't much of a talker... as in she hadn't actually spoken one bit since he'd rescued her. So far all he'd managed to get out of her was a few grunts and a growl.

And then there was, of course, _the biting_.

He'd expected her to be a little feral (she was Irathient after all) and she was no doubt terrified, but he really didn't think the biting was particularly necessary, nor did he appreciate the constant stinging from the various bite marks he'd accumulated. The girl didn't just nip either. She was fierce. She drew blood. Honestly, Nolan thought she was a little bit scary.

It was obvious that she didn't know the old adage about biting the hand that feeds you. In fact, it was actually that particular time of the day when she would make the most lunges at him... the same time of day that he'd once quite enjoyed, but now instead dreaded.

Food aggression, clearly. He remembered his mom using the phrase a few times when Rocky, their Golden Retriever, had growled when anyone had gone near his food bowl when he'd been eating. She had explained that before they'd rescued him from the shelter, Rocky had likely lived in a home with more than one pet and that in order for him to get food, he'd had to show signs of aggression to keep the other animals at bay.

Looking at the skinny whip of a kid before him, Nolan had no doubt in his mind that this girl had probably never had enough to eat in her entire life and that's why she felt that she had to bite in order to keep others away from the food she did get.

Nolan paused and drummed his fingers on his knee in thought. Or maybe biting was just how Irathients said thank you. He couldn't really be sure. He'd never paid all that much attention to the finer details of their culture. He mostly just tried to avoid them so they wouldn't steal his stuff or, you know, attempt to kill him.

He glanced over at the girl to see that her unearthly golden eyes were focused solely on the food he was preparing over the fire. He bit back a sigh. _What am I doing?_ he wondered not for the first time. He wasn't exactly father material... or even bad babysitting material for that matter. Who was he to drag some poor, scared kid around the Badlands on his never-ending quest for the perfect score, especially a mute feral kid who clearly didn't like or trust him?

Had he actually done the right thing saving her, taking her?

_Yes_, his inner voice immediately and adamantly responded. She would have died had he left her. She needed him... or well, at least she needed his food. And really, these days there weren't many better options than a guy like him. At least he knew he'd never hurt her. He couldn't say the same for everyone else she might have ended up with.

"Alright, kid, listen up." When she didn't give him her attention, he snapped his fingers at her a few times until her eyes quickly rose from the food to meet his gaze. "This is how it's going to be. I promise you that I will feed you, every day," _or almost every day_, he silently added. Food in the Badlands could be a little troublesome to come by on occasion... "And I will take care of you. I won't hurt you, _not ever_, and I won't let anyone else hurt you either. Understand?"

She just blinked.

He frowned slightly. Perhaps she didn't understand... He repeated what he'd just said in badly-pronounced Irathient, to which she gave him an odd look. "But," he continued, still speaking her native tongue, "_you_ have to make _me_ a promise in return. You have to stop biting me. That's it. That's all I'm asking. Kay? No biting."

When there was no response from the girl, he sighed to himself and shook his head, turning his attention back to the food. Yeah, maybe this really hadn't been a good idea after all...

"Your Irathient is _shtako_," came a soft reply, the words a bit hoarse from disuse. She had spoken in his tongue, not hers.

Nolan's head whipped back up, eyes widened ever so slightly. He immediately thought to correct her language, tell her that it wasn't appropriate for a little girl to talk like that, but then he thought better of it. A bit of cursing he could live with if that meant she was actually going to talk to him.

He smiled. "Yeah, I've been told that before," he replied. He studied her for a brief moment before asking, "Is that your way of saying you promise?"

She studied him right back before finally giving him a solemn nod.

He scooped up a bowl of food and handed it over to her. She still looked wary as she took it from him, but at least this time she didn't actually bite.

Progress.

...

(_Author's Notes: _I took some liberties, of course, since we don't actually know much of their backstory yet, but it still amused me to write it! More to come.)


	2. Fleeting

**Thank you all for your positive feedback on the first chapter! I have quite a few ideas for other chapters and I'm going to attempt to keep them in a sort of chronological order, but we'll see how it goes. I might write out several chapters and then end up with an idea for one that would have been set earlier in their lives. Who knows?  
**

**Also, it would be completely negligent of me if I didn't give a special shout out to my fellow **_**Defiance**_** writers, **aszecsei** and **ellabellbee**. You should most definitely check them out, too!**

**Oh, and just a warning, this story doesn't have a beta so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.**

Disclaimer: _Defiance_ doesn't belong to me.

…

Fleeting

Both of their faces were strained when they pushed through the door of the small town hospital, his with anxiety and hers with pain. Calling it a hospital really might have been a bit of a stretch considering the place only consisted of one room with a couple of beds and what looked like rather limited supplies shoved over onto a table in the corner.

They were in the unfortunate Podunk town of Greenwood, a town that had kept its name from before the arrival of the Votan despite there no longer being any green in sight. Wouldn't have been Nolan's first choice, but it had been the closest place that had any sort of medical professional, though as he studied the gaunt, unkempt features of the man he assumed was the "doctor", he began quickly reconsidering actually using that label. Still, the man was likely to know more about medicine than Nolan did.

"Please, help her."

"What happened?" the man asked, glancing sideways at the short woman who had just emerged through the door in the back. A nurse? His wife?

Nolan frowned ever so slightly and shifted Irisa in his arms to hold her just a little bit closer. "She fell. I think her arm is broken, and her head, she hit it pretty hard." And by fell, he meant that she had quite literally fallen through the floor of the arkfall debris they had been picking through. He'd told her to stick close to him, but something had caught her attention and she'd wandered from his side. The next thing he knew, there was the sound of groaning deck plate and when he turned to look, he saw her suddenly disappear as the floor gave way in a roar of screeching metal. It had been one of the most terrifying sounds he'd ever heard.

The man glanced at the woman once more before nodding once to Nolan. "Bring her here. Lie her down."

Nolan did so, gently placing the girl down onto one of the beds, but the moment he attempted to step back to make room for the man to check Irisa over, the girl grabbed his sleeve in a tight grip. She stared up at him with wide, pain-filled eyes and whispered, "Don't go."

"Not goin' anywhere, kiddo," he told her, but when she didn't let go, he covered her hand with his and gave her the most seriously of looks. "_Promise_."

Irisa studied his face for a few moments before finally relaxing her grip enough to release his sleeve, but then turned it upward so that she could take his hand instead.

Nolan smiled and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before looking expectantly up at the man. "Now can you help her or what?"

The man frowned at Nolan's tone, but nodded nonetheless. "Yes."

…

"She needs to rest now," the man (who, as they'd come to learn, was named Andris) said as he finished splinting Irisa's arm and took a step back.

Setting the limb had been a bit of an ordeal as Andris didn't quite have the med tech that the bigger towns did and he'd had to treat the girl using old-fashioned methods. It had started out okay, but by the end of it, Andris' assistant, Vyra, had had to come over and help Nolan hold the girl down. Nolan had also been pretty sure that Irisa was going to end up breaking his fingers, too, she was squeezing so hard. Strong little thing. Never once had he thought about letting go of her hand though.

Taking a breath, relieved that it was over, Nolan gave a nod to Andris and then looked back down at Irisa to see her eyes fluttering closed in exhaustion. "What about her head?" There was clear bruising up along the left side of her hairline where she'd whacked it when she'd fallen.

"She doesn't look concussed, but we'll still have to keep an eye on her," Andris said wearily. "Now if you'll excuse me for a moment..."

Nolan watched as the man slipped out the back door before once again returning his attention to his little companion. Her eyes were fully closed now, her breathing steady, and her hand had gone slack in his. She was finally asleep for which he was infinitely relieved. She needed her rest.

"Come."

He looked up to see that it was Vyra who had spoken to him. It was the first word she had said since they're arrived.

She waved him to follow her, moving to the front door. "Sit." Through the window he could easily see a set of old wooden chairs on the front porch.

He shook his head. "I told her I wouldn't leave."

"She is asleep and you won't be far," Vyra said kindly. "You look almost as exhausted as she clearly is."

Nolan couldn't argue with that. After the accident, he'd raced through the Badlands as if the devil were on his heels to get Irisa to Greenwood, stopping for nothing, and now that the danger had passed, now that he knew she was going to be alright, the adrenaline that had kept him going the entire time was quickly ebbing away, taking with it his strength and making him downright weary to the bone. With a soft sigh, he placed the girl's limp arm at her side and then gently brushed an errant piece of fiery orange hair off of her forehead before he finally followed Vyra outside.

The pair sat in the chairs and the relief he felt to be off of his feet was instantaneous for Nolan, making his bones feel almost like noodles. Never would he have thought an old rickety chair could be so comfortable. "Oh yeah," he groaned as he settled back a little more.

Vyra smiled at him. "Better?"

He nodded. Oh yes, definitely better.

"It would seem that you two have been through quite an ordeal," she said, her eyes focused out on the dusty road instead of on him.

"You could say that," he slowly agreed.

"You must have been quite a ways out."

Nolan raised an eyebrow, not really sure what the woman was getting at.

She glanced sideways at him and then returned her eyes to the small swirls of dust the wind was picking up off of the road. "In my time with Andris, I have seen quite a few broken limbs. He had more trouble setting the girl's because it had sat longer untreated, allowing her arm to swell and grow stiff. So either you were just negligent in getting her here in a timely manner or you were a ways out."

Nolan clenched his jaw tightly, a wave of guilt washing over him.

"It's quite clear that you care for her," Vyra continued, "so I am assuming the latter. Salvager then?"

"Why would you assume that?" he asked, his spine stiffening slightly. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly feeling defensive. A lot of people tried their hands at arkfall salvage, everyone from kids looking for quick scrip to Spirit Riders to professional Ark Hunters. So why had the way she said it made him feel like it was something he should keep hidden?

She smiled and raised a "Really? C'mon now..." eyebrow at him. "Your clothes, your manner, your roller?" She shrugged. "Everyone has to make a living..." she said.

"But?" Nolan prodded, not really liking her tone.

"But," she said, sucking in a breath and finally turning to look at him fully, "but isn't it a bit dangerous for someone one as young as her?"

He felt himself instinctively bristle, partly because he didn't like her insinuating that he couldn't take care of Irisa, but more so because deep down he'd been thinking the same thing ever since he'd rescued the girl. What he did for a living was dangerous, very dangerous. Her being hurt had proven that and this time it had only been an accident. What if next time it wasn't? What if they came up against rival salvagers? Or hellbugs or saberwolves? Or any of the cannibal raiding clans? There was any number of ways to get killed out in the Badlands. Who was he to put Irisa's life in danger by continuing to bring her along?

Vyra seemed to pick up on his inner strife or was simply reacting to his silence because she raised her hands in surrender. "Forgive me, it's not my business," she said. She fell silent once more as if the conversation was done, but then she licked her lips and continued, "It's just... her injuries could have been so much worse. She could have... well, she could have been killed."

"You think I don't know that?" he snapped. His anger, however, was only for himself. Vyra was right and he didn't like it one bit.

The woman gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she apologized. "I just think that all children should be given the chance to grow up in a stable environment, or as stable an environment as you can come by these days."

Nolan sighed. "And what? You think a place like this would be better for her?"

Vyra shrugged slightly. "Well, I can't speak for other towns, but here we do our best to provide our children with a safe place learn and grow."

"There are kids here?" He hadn't seen any since arriving in Greenwood. In fact he hadn't really seen many people at all save Andris and Vyra.

"Oh yes, quite a few," she said with a smile and then, no doubt noticing his searching gaze as he scanned the street for any signs of them, added, "They're in lessons right now, but they'll be out eventually. All of our children are provided with an education here."

_School? Huh. _Nolan hadn't thought about that sort of thing in years. He barely remembered the time he'd actually spent in school. It seemed like a completely different life now.

He frowned again. "You sound like you're trying to sell me something," he pointed out.

"Oh no, not at all!" she quickly corrected. "I was just making conversation."

The pair fell silent again. Nolan rubbed his face, his eyes feeling gritty from exhaustion and his heart feeling heavy. Who was he kidding? Vyra really was right. Irisa didn't belong with him. She belonged somewhere that was safe and stable, she _deserved_ it.

And if he was being completely honest with himself, he knew things would be a lot easier without her tagging along. The last salvage job was a perfect example. The arkfall had been just about as pristine as they came, a guaranteed good deal of scrip if he had had the time to go through and strip what he'd needed, but Irisa's decision to wander off had effectively cost him a lot, possibly millions. He was lucky that he'd managed to pull at least one small bit of salvage from the wreck before her accident, but really, what he had managed to grab would barely cover the cost of roller repairs and perhaps dinner. So yeah, not having her along would definitely be easier. Lonelier, yes, but so much easier.

"You're right," he said quietly. Vyra turned back to look at him, eyebrows raised in question. "She would be better off without me, better off in a place like this." When the woman opened her mouth to reply, he raised a hand and cut her off. "I just... I need to think." He pushed himself up out of the chair and walked down the porch steps.

…

Nolan sat sideways in the driver's seat of the roller with door open and his legs hanging out. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, and pressed his face into his hands. He didn't know what to do. He wanted what was best for Irisa, really he did, but could he do it? Could he leave her? He didn't know. Did he have the right to keep—

"You said you weren't going to leave me."

Startled, Nolan whipped his head up so fast he nearly whacked it on the doorframe. Irisa was standing a few steps back from his feet, cradling her splinted arm with the other and glaring darkly at him.

"What are you doing up, kiddo?" he asked, climbing out of the roller. "You should be resting."

"You said you weren't going to leave me," she repeated, her tone sharp. "You said you weren't going anywhere. You _promised_."

"Oh, I didn't really go anywhere. I just needed to check—"

She cut him off. "You're _not_ leaving me here."

Her words floored him, leaving him standing there with his mouth opening and closing, not knowing what to say.

"If you do, I'll just run away," she threatened, her eyes starting to fill with tears despite her clearly trying to keep them at bay.

"Woah, woah, slow up, kid," Nolan immediately said as he quickly crossed the distance between them and crouched so he was nearer to eye level with her, "Who even said I was going to leave you?"

She just stood there, swallowing hard at her tears.

"Huh?" he prodded.

"I heard you talking," she finally admitted. "You said she was right, that I'd be better off without you."

_Shtako_. "It was just a conversation," he said in a deflated tone.

"Your eyes are doing that thing they do when you lie," she deadpanned.

_Double shtako_. He sighed. "Alright, fine." He ran his hand roughly through his hair and then shook his head. "I just want what's best for you."

Irisa stared at him for a few long beats before saying in a slightly softer tone, "And what about what's best for you?"

Nolan raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"What is best for you?" she asked. "Being alone or being with me?"

He hadn't actually really thought about that, partially because he'd been trying to focus on taking care of Irisa, but also because he knew that if he posed the question to himself, his answer would be infinitely selfish. He considered in that moment lying to her, telling her whatever he needed to to ensure her wellbeing, but when he looked at her, her searching gaze was just so sincere that his heart felt almost like it was going to explode. "With you," he breathed out, unable to help himself. "A thousand times you."

And then her expression turned smug. "Exactly."

Nolan laughed outright.

Irisa smirked.

"But Irisa," he said, sobering once more, "it's dangerous out there and there's no telling—"

"If you leave me," she butted in, repeating her earlier threat, "I. Will. Run. Away." And they both knew that that was the last thing Nolan wanted.

He narrowed his eyes at her and she narrowed hers back... for about thirty seconds before Nolan finally threw his hands up in exasperation and said, "Fine! You win." And with those words came a sudden rush of relief. As selfish as it was, he truly hadn't wanted to leave her.

"Good," she said. "And now that you've stopped being an idiot, can we go? I hate towns."

"You need to rest..." he tried.

"I can rest in the roller."

He shook his head. "Fine, fine."

…

"I wouldn't advise leaving right away," Andris said as soon as the pair walked back to the little hospital and expressed their will to get on the road again.

Vyra frowned. "And I thought you were considering—"

"What? Leaving her here?" Nolan said. He looked down at his wild charge and smirked. "Nah, I promised her I wouldn't."

"But..." Vyra shot a sharp look over at Andris.

"There is still the issue of payment," the man cut in. "Given that you didn't have an appointment, my fee is substantially more expensive. I had to use the time I normally would have used on my other patients to treat the girl and thus you've cost me a great deal. I'm sure you understand."

Nolan cocked an eyebrow and glanced around at all the very _empty_ beds. "What patients? We're the only ones here."

Red splotches were beginning to creep up Andris' neck as he started to grow agitated. "House calls, of course. Now if you do not have the scrip, we will need to find alternate means of pay."

Nolan followed the man's eyeline down to Irisa and then whipped his head back up, his eyes flaring in anger. "You want me to give you my kid?"

Andris shrugged, eyes darting to Vyra before returning to Nolan. "We could find a use for her I'm sure," he said.

It took everything in Nolan to not just shoot the man. "It'll be a cold day in hell," he growled out before pulling the one piece of Votan tech he'd been able to salvage from the wreck from one of his pockets (as he hadn't wanted to leave it in the roller where anyone could just break in and steal it) and tossed it at Andris. "Here." And then he turned and coaxed Irisa back out the door. The tech was worth way more than setting a kid's broken arm, but he didn't want trouble as they didn't have anything else to pay with and after all, he figured this particular kid was worth it.

They crossed the road to where the roller was parked and Nolan opened the passenger side door.

"I'm your kid?"

"Huh?" he questioned as he helped the girl up into her seat.

"In there," she clarified, "you said that I was your kid."

He paused, thinking it over, then nodded slowly. "So I did." He met her eyes and studied her for a few more moments. "You ok with that?"

Her expression turned thoughtful and he was suddenly almost sure that she was going to say no, but then she smiled a shy little smile and nodded in return. "Yes."

...

(_Author's Notes:_ This one was a bit longer as the muses in my head wouldn't shut up. Hope you enjoyed it! More to come. =D )


	3. Deep

_**Spoiler Alert**_**: This chapter has a reference to episode 1x02, though just as the episode was vague on the subject, so is this story as well. It'd be helpful to have seen the episode to kind of get an idea as to why Little!Irisa reacts how she does in this, but it's not completely necessary.**

Disclaimer: _Defiance_ doesn't belong to me.

…

Deep

It wasn't until that evening after they'd set up camp, when Irisa was suddenly standing there with a nasty gash in her hand and blood everywhere that he even noticed she had them: a set of throwing knives. They weren't his, he knew that much, and he also knew for a fact that she hadn't had them before going to Harkness, the town they'd just left. But all questions as to their origin were pushed to the side as he watched the droplets of red drip down onto the dirt.

Irisa just stood there, staring down at her hand, and in that brief second before he began moving toward her, Nolan wondered if she was stuck in that momentary shocked phase kids fall into when they really, really hurt themselves, that calm right before the pain finally registers and they start screaming bloody murder. But she didn't scream. She just continued to stand there.

"Whoa, hey!" he exclaimed as he crossed the distance between them in three quick strides and swiftly took the blade from her hand. "What'd you do?" It was pretty clear what she'd done, but it was an automatic thing to ask. "Huh?"

She averted her eyes.

He sighed, crouching down in front of her, and reached forward. "Here, let me see." He wrapped his fingers around her wrist so not to actually touch her hand, but the moment he made contact, she wrenched her arm from him and backed hastily away.

"Hey, hey! Kiddo!" He immediately raised his hands up to show that he meant no harm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." _Her wrists, the scars._ She didn't like people touching them. _Shtako_. Sometimes he forgot how damaged his poor girl actually was.

Irisa stopped a few paces away, dropping into a crouch and cradling her hand to her chest. She stared at him sideways through her hair, nostrils flaring as she sucked in choppy little breaths.

Watching her, Nolan was briefly reminded of an old movie he had watched as a child about a feral boy raised in the wild by animals. That boy had huddled in a similar fashion, ferine eyes regarding those around him with uncertainty and perhaps a hint of fear just as Irisa's were right at that moment. For the life of him though he couldn't remember what the movie had been called, though he was pretty sure it had been a book, too.

He stayed where he was, deciding to let her have the space. His expression was earnest and his tone softening fully as he added for a third time, "_I'm sorry._"

They stayed like that for a while, both crouching a few feet away from each other, neither moving until finally the girl spoke up.

"I've seen it before," she said quietly.

He cocked his head to the side slightly. "Seen what?" he asked gently.

"The blood," she clarified, "on my hands."

Nolan frowned slightly, the muscles in his jaw jumping as he clenched his teeth. If only he'd found her sooner, if only he could have killed those who hurt her before they'd ever laid a hand on her... "Will you let me wash it off for you?" he asked.

Irisa raised her eyes to meet his and the anguish combined with the tentative yearning, the hesitant hope, was almost too much for him. It was as if she wanted desperately to let him help her, to care for and love her, but like an abused animal, she was still fully expecting to be hurt again. It killed him. "Please?"

Blowing out a quiet breath, Irisa slowly rose to her feet and crossed back over to Nolan, stopping about a foot away. She kept her hand cradled to her.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Irisa," he told her, every word heavy with the weight of his sincerity. "I promise you."

She took a few moments, seemingly considering her options before she finally offered her hand to him.

He gently took it in his, mindful not to touch her scarred wrist, and looked over the wound. It looked painful and was quite deep, but he was pretty certain he could treat it with what supplies they had with them. He smiled up at her. "No worries, kiddo, we'll have you patched up in no time."

And he kept his word. He flushed the wound with water, carefully wiping all the blood from her small hand, and once he was satisfied that it was clean, he wrapped it. Irisa bore the ministrations with a pained frown and a clenched jaw, but no tears.

Tying the final knot on the bandage, Nolan let go and smiled at the girl. "All done. You'll be as good as new in no time."

Irisa stared down at her wrapped hand.

"Does it feel ok?" he asked after the girl just continued to stand there in silence.

She brought her eyes back up to meet his and nodded.

He continued to watch her, still crouched, still concerned. "Are _you_ ok?"

Irisa's uninjured hand unconsciously brushed her opposite wrist where the scars were hidden beneath her sleeve. Nolan thought that maybe she wasn't going to answer him and was about to back off, to give her her space, but then inexplicably, the girl all but lunged forward, throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. He was surprised to say the least and before he could respond in kind, she pulled back again. She gave him a small smile, a smile that said that no, she wasn't ok, but she _was_ at least a bit better.

Never again, he decided in that moment, never again would he ever let anyone hurt her the way she had been hurt before, not if there was any way for him to stop it. They'd have to kill him first.

The pair didn't discuss it further. They continued their normal nightly routine, cooking dinner, rechecking the camp perimeter, getting the bedrolls ready, and so on. The atmosphere was decidedly more relaxed, lighter now that the ghosts of the past had slipped back into the shadows, but then something occurred to Nolan, something he'd meant to ask before.

"Hey Irisa?"

The girl looked over at him from where she was sitting on her bedroll. "Yeah?"

Nolan turned to face her, his expression perplexed. In his hand was the set of throwing knives. "Where did you get these?"

For a second time that night, Irisa averted her eyes.

…

(_Author's Notes_: So this one is a "cliffhanger"... kind of. Mainly I had an idea for this chapter, but after seeing the second episode, this ended up going in another direction. I still want to write the original idea, however, so the next chapter we'll actually find out where the knives came from!)


	4. Stabbing

**Since I had SOMEONE complain that the last chapter was too short (*eyes aszecsei*), I wrote a longer one this go around. Hope you enjoy!**

Disclaimer: _Defiance_ does not belong to me.

…

Stabbing

_Nolan turned to face her, his expression perplexed. In his hand was the set of throwing knives. "Where did you get these?" _

_For a second time that night, Irisa averted her eyes._

...

He supposed he should have blamed himself for the whole situation, but how was he to know that something like this would happen? He hadn't really left her that long, but apparently that's all it took. Granted, he should have known something was up when she started pressuring him to leave (with more fervor than usual) the very moment he'd emerged from the back room, but he'd been so high on his own manly prowess after his last very lovely encounter that he'd just agreed to leave without even bothering to ask what had gotten the girl into such a tizzy. (But really, could you blame him? The woman he'd been with had had legs for days and the way she practically purred his name... well... let's just say he hadn't quite been able to focus when it had all been said and done.)

Then that night after they'd left Harkness, Irisa had suddenly been standing there with a bloody hand and a set of throwing knives. Not just any set, either, a really nice set. It had taken some coaxing, but he'd finally gotten her to admit that she'd... "liberated" them from some drunk patron in the cantina they'd been in. No wonder she hadn't wanted to stay in town. She hadn't wanted to get caught.

"We don't steal things, Irisa..." He paused a moment, frowning slightly. Hrmm, well, that wasn't entirely true. "Unless it's for a really good reason." He held up a finger when he noticed her mouth opening, halting her argument. "And just _wanting_ them isn't a good enough reason."

She gave him a _look _and his brow furrowed even deeper. "Ok, fine, but that only works in some instances!" He scratched his forehead. This really wasn't going well.

"When?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"When... when... um..." He narrowed an eye at her. "When... _When_ it's something we actually _need_." He nodded, looking rather pleased with himself. "And I'm pretty sure you didn't _need_ these."

"You have weapons," she pointed out, "You _need_ them, right?"

"Yes, but that's different."

"How?"

"Because, Irisa," he sighed, "we live out in the Badlands and this isn't a friendly place. I need my weapons to protect us."

"And I need to be able to protect us, too," she said adamantly.

"No, kiddo, that's what you've got me for."

The girl's wolf-like eyes narrowed at him. "Well, you're not always with me. What am I supposed to do then?"

"I, uh..." Dammit, she'd gotten him there. "Having a weapon makes you a target," he said, avoiding her question. "Having a weapon you don't know how to use makes you a dead target."

"So teach me."

"Kiddo..."

"What? Teach me."

Nolan shook his head and walked a few paces away. He stood there staring out at the darkness, rubbing at the sudden tension in the back of his neck.

"Nolan..."

"I can't, Irisa," he said, tone flat.

"But—"

He turned back to face her, his eyes strangely haunted. He shook his head again. "I can't," he repeated. "I won't teach you to kill."

Irisa frowned. "I wasn't asking you to. I was just saying—"

"No, Irisa," he said firmly. He took the knives and tucked them deep into his pack. "You're too young. You've got me to protect you and for now that's gonna have to be good enough."

Irisa's eyes flashed angrily and she flopped down onto her bedroll, flipping over onto her side in a huff, facing away from the man.

Nolan stared at the girl's back for a few moments then sighed. Logically he knew that eventually he was going to need to teach her to defend herself, that they lead too dangerous of lives not to, but he couldn't just yet. She was still so young, so fragile. He hadn't been lying to her when he said having a weapon made you a target and the last thing he wanted was to put Irisa in any added danger. She'd already been through too much.

…

The next couple of days were spent in relative silence. The girl could hold a grudge, that was for sure. Nolan had tried to engage her in conversation, but she was still clearly hurt by his refusal to teach her and thus had returned to the same mute impression she had been doing when he'd first rescued her.

The situation was also exacerbated by the fact that Irisa seemed strangely fixated on the knives she had stolen and was quite intent on getting them back. Nolan had caught her several times trying to sneak them out of his pack. He had no idea why she was so obsessed, no idea what she had seen to make her not only steal them, but to want them so badly even now. Of course, every time he caught her trying to once again liberate them, he had to tell her off and then they were right back at the same unhappy emotional starting point all over again. After the sixth attempt, Nolan decided just to keep the knives on him.

They were on their way to Tennant's Rise, a medium-sized outpost right in the middle of the Storm Divide and just about the only settlement for four hundred miles in any direction. It had originally been built as a beacon of hope out in the desolation, a place of warmth and hospitality, but as everything did out there, it had turned into a hard and unforgiving place and was now a way station filled with any number of dangerous and unsavory sorts. Nolan didn't like bringing Irisa there (hell, he didn't like going there himself), but despite its rather dubious atmosphere, it was also one of the best places to fuel up and to find work if you needed it. As the pair was running a little low on scrip and there hadn't been any recent arkfall to salvage, their business there was primarily the latter.

Nolan slowed the roller to a crawl as he maneuvered through the congested streets looking for a spot to park. He glanced over at Irisa to see her staring out the window with a dark expression on her face. She clearly wanted to be there about as much as he did... Well, that or she was just brooding still.

"Alright, stay in the roller. I won't be long," he said as he pulled the vehicle down an alley and parked. She didn't argue. In fact, she didn't say anything at all. Pursing his lips, Nolan nodded and grabbed the door handle. "Righty then." He got out and headed back out the alley.

…

He'd been longer than he'd wanted, but then negotiating terms with one as unscrupulous as Taine Vuhl was always time-consuming. The trick was to pretend you weren't there actually looking for a job and then when the subject was brought up (as it inevitably would be since Vuhl was never a man who could keep his mouth shut for long), it was all about being inconvenienced enough to get a worthwhile fee for your efforts, but not overdoing it so to tip your hand. Eventually though Nolan had managed to finagle his way into a decent deal. Still though, he really hadn't liked leaving Irisa as long as he had.

He slipped out the back door of the bar into the alley and started toward the roller, but then he saw her and paused. He frowned slightly. "I thought I told you to stay in the roller, kid," he said in gentle exasperation. He supposed he couldn't blame her. She'd already been sitting in it for hours just to get to Tennant's Rise. "I'm sorry I took so long," he continued, "Vuhl was a bit more suspicious than usual, no doubt because of last time." Last time being when they'd taken the cache of Vo-tech weapons they'd acquired, sold them to the Earth Republic instead of bringing them back to Vuhl, and then blamed it on one of their rivals. "We got everything sorted out though."

Irisa didn't reply, not that he'd been expecting her to, but the moment he stepped toward her, he noticed something different about her, something in her eyes. They were wide, alarmed, but before he could ask what was wrong, a shadow rounded the roller, coming up behind the girl. Nolan understood immediately.

"You really shouldn't leave your pet alone, Nolan." It was Achan Shaw, that particular rival that they'd blamed for the Vo-tech weapons scam... after they'd stolen the weapons from him in the first place. "_Anything_ could happen to her." Shaw grabbed Irisa by the back of her neck and pressed his gun to the side of her throat.

Nolan felt his blood boil. "Shaw," he ground out, "just let her go."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you want me, not her."

Shaw looked skyward for a beat and nodded once. "True, true," he said, "bu-uuut if I have the little savage, you won't do anything stupid."

Irisa snorted.

Shaw tightened his grip on the back of her neck, making her wince.

Grinding his teeth, Nolan resisted the urge to charge across the distance between them and beat the living hell out of the other man. If it had been just them, he might have risked it, but he didn't dare with Irisa in the middle. "What do you want, Shaw?"

"Oh, I don't know, Nolan," the other man said flippantly, "maybe for starters, _the scrip you stole from me_." The last few words came out in an angry snarl and more pressure was added to Irisa's neck, drawing a small mewl of pain out of her.

Nolan's hand instinctively crept closer to the Po-tech pistol strapped to his thigh. "How did you even know we'd be here?" he decided to ask. Maybe if he could keep Shaw talking there would be an opening, a moment for him to pull his pistol and blast the worthless piece of shtako to kingdom come.

Shaw shrugged. "I figured you had to show up sooner or later."

Nolan smirked. He just couldn't help it. "You've been sitting in this hell hole, just waiting, on off chance that you might run into me again? That seems a real solid plan."

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" he growled.

"Hmmm, that it did," Nolan conceded lightly, nodding. "And I've got to say, it was pretty ballsy of you to not only come back to, but _stay in_ a town run by a guy who quite literally wanted those balls in a basket."

"_Because of you!_" Shaw shrieked, eyes flashing furiously. "You stole that weapons cache from me and then told Vuhl I had sold it to the E-Reps! I showed back up here and he tried to _lynch_ me!"

"And yet you're looking quite well," Nolan quipped.

"Shut up, Nolan! Just _shut up_!" He tightened his grip further in his fury and Irisa cried out in pain.

Nolan threw up a hand to stay the other man's anger. "Okay!" he exclaimed. "Okay. Just... just let her—"

Shaw shook his head wildly. "No!" he shouted, flying spittle punctuating each of his raging words. "No! You have no idea what I had to go through to get back in Vuhl's good graces, no idea what I had to do! It's your fault! It's your fault and _you will pay_!"

Things seemed to suddenly slow down. Shaw ripped his gun upward from Irisa to point it Nolan. Nolan reached for his own gun, but something told him that he wasn't going to get it out of its holster in time. He met Irisa's eyes, hoping to convey a last look that would say that he was both sorry and that he loved her, but then he saw something on her face that startled and momentarily confused him. Her eyes shone with fear, but also with resolve and perhaps just a little bit of... glee? She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth in clear determination and in that split second before Shaw could pull the trigger, something slipped into her hand from out of her sleeve and she drove it as hard as she could into the man's thigh.

Shaw shrieked in pain and his shot went wild, missing Nolan completely. "You little—!" He didn't bother to continue the thought. He just swung Irisa around and threw her into the wall before whipping his gun back up to shoot Nolan. Before he could even fire off a single round though, one of Nolan's found a very precise spot through his shoulder and he went down hard.

Nolan darted across the distance between them and kicked Shaw's gun away from him. The look on the downed man's face was one of shock. "Don't move," Nolan said, keeping his weapon trained on Shaw as he rounded him and moved to Irisa. He crouched beside her. "Hey, hey kiddo, you okay?" He reached over with his free hand and helped her up into a sitting position. She groaned slightly, pressing her hand to her head. "Here, let me see," he said, pushing her hair back out of her face so he could get a better look. There was a big knot on her forehead that would undoubtedly bruise later. "Just sit still a minute."

He turned and crossed back to Shaw, dropping to a knee beside the man. He shoved the muzzle of his gun into the bullet hole in Shaw's shoulder, making the man writhe in pain. He leaned forward to whisper in the man's ear. "If you ever," Nolan growled out, "_ever_ touch my kid again, I will do so much more than just put a bullet through your shoulder, you hear me?" When Shaw didn't answer, he added even more pressure to the wound. "Do. You. Hear. Me?"

Shaw nodded quickly, gasping out, "Yes! Yes!"

Nolan straightened back up and nodded in return. "Good." He yanked his arm back and then brought it back down, pistol whipping Shaw across the face just about as hard as he could, knocking the man out cold. He blew out a breath and then wiped the blood on his gun off on Shaw's shirt.

Turning his attention back to Irisa, he saw that the girl was already climbing unsteadily back to her feet. "Woah! Slow up, kid," he said as he hurried back to her side and caught her by the arm when she stumbled, keeping her upright.

She raised her head to look at him, blinked dazedly, and then grinned. "I guess this would be an example as to why stealing from people is probably bad?" she said.

Nolan smirked and shook his head. "C'mon."

He helped her up into the roller and stood before her, checking her eyes for any signs of a concussion. He was no doctor, but he'd seen (and had) enough of them over the years to have a general idea of when someone had or didn't have one. "Maybe we should get you to a doctor," he said after a minute or so.

She caught his arm and shook her head. "No. I'm okay," she said. "Just give me a minute."

He drummed his fingers on her leg. "At the very least we should get something for the swelling."

"I'm okay," she repeated.

"That thing is going to blow up to the size of a newly-hatched skitterling if we don't. It's seriously going to look like you have two heads."

"_Nolan_." The exasperation in her voice interrupted his train of thought and he returned his focus to her actual words. "_I'm okay_." She patted his shoulder. "Can we please just go?" she asked. "_Before_ he wakes up."

"Right." He nodded. "Okay." He made sure she was settled before he moved around to the other side of the roller and climbed in.

Once they were out of the town limits, Nolan glanced thoughtfully over at the girl next to him. "Smart not stabbing him while he had the gun pointed at you. He may have pulled the trigger."

She frowned and cocked her head to the side slightly, studying him. "I didn't even think of that. I stabbed him because he was going to shoot you," she told him.

Slowing the roller just a bit, Nolan turned his head to look at her fully. After a contemplative beat, he smiled. "Thanks, kiddo," he said sincerely. "You saved my life."

"I figured I owed you one," she said, smirking.

Nolan laughed and shook his head.

…

Later that night after they'd set up camp, something occurred to Nolan that he hadn't really thought about during the whole ordeal in town. "What'd you stab Shaw with anyway?" he asked. He still had the throwing knives with him.

The girl reached up into her sleeve and pulled out a makeshift knife. It still had Shaw's blood on it, though it was dried by now.

"Where'd you get that thing?"

"I made it."

"Out of what?"

She shrugged. "Piece of glass and some cloth. You were inside and I got bored."

He nodded and then held out his hand. "Hand it over."

Irisa looked up at Nolan. He raised an eyebrow and made a "Give it" motion with his hand. Her expression darkened and it took just about everything he had not to smile. "C'mon."

Clenching her jaw, the girl walked over to him and slapped it in his hand with more force than was really necessary before turning to leave.

"Uh-uh! Wait."

She stopped, but didn't turn back to face him. He could tell by the sudden heaving of her shoulders that she frustrated to the point of tears and he almost felt bad. It was clear that she thought they'd returned to their previous argument. "I'm not done yet," he continued. "While I commend you on your creativity, I'm not gonna have you running around with a piece of jagged glass... for two reasons, actually. One, because you could hurt yourself— "

"Fine," she spat, again making move to leave.

"Still not done, Irisa," he said firmly, halting her retreat once more.

She sighed and this time he couldn't help the smirk. "_And two_," he said, pausing for a dramatic breath, "because you won't need it. You'll have these instead." He held out her set of throwing knives to her.

Irisa slowly turned toward him and upon seeing the knives, snapped her head up to look at him again, eyes wide. "Really?" she asked in disbelief.

He nodded. "Yeah. I figure you were probably right."

"Probably?"

He gave her a _look_ and then continued on with what he was saying. "Knowing how to defend yourself would be a good thing and knives are a bit more inconspicuous than a gun, so they won't draw as much attention. _But_," he snatched the knives back before she could take them from him, "but these aren't toys, okay?" She nodded fervently. "And you're going to learn to use them properly. No just frolicking about stabbing things."

It was her turn to give him a look. "Frolicking?"

He paused a beat. Irisa was probably one of the least frolicsome people he actually knew. "Bad choice of words, but you know what I mean."

"Right."

"And Irisa, these are tools, so you have to be sure to maintain them. A poorly maintained weapon could mean your life."

She nodded again in understanding.

"_And_—"

"Nolan," she interrupted. He shut his mouth and looked at her. "I get it. Be smart, be safe," she said. "Can I just have them now?"

Smirking, Nolan shook his head in amusement and handed them over. "Alright, but first the lesson starts now. How to hold a knife properly."

"I know how to hold one."

He raised an eyebrow at her and she deflated slightly. "Sorry. You were saying?" she said.

"That's what I thought." Nolan smirked again and then launched into the first of many lessons to come.

…

(_Author's Notes_: Hmmm, so there's another one. I was planning on writing one thing for the next chapter, but after watching the last episode and experiencing ALL OF THE FEELS [Oh, how I just wanted to huggle Irisa so much!], I think chapter 5 might end up having something to do with the episode! I'm also thinking of writing the next chapter from Irisa's POV instead of Nolan's, but we'll see what the muses have in store for me when I start writing it. My ideas and their plans don't always correspond. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one!)


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